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Mental health around food

person holding note with be kind text

I am writing this blog as an addition to my last podcast episode #20 foodshaming. If you haven’t checked that one out, please do. This is going to be a short blog dear, so my apologies if you were expecting a long one. Food is what unite people and not only at parties or the choices we make around food. Even the problems that we face around food unites us. But somehow in society, they divided us…

I have been helping people with weight loss, weight gain, eating disorders and gaining back their periods. All these people face similair problems. Too much movement, low calorie diets, a lot of stress around food, lost a lot of weight or gained a lot of weight back again. Can’t stop binging, restriction from certain foods and so on!

We learned from society that these groups have certain looks, a certain weight and a certain sets of problems. But that is not the case! A person that is overweight also can have habits of restricting and purging, a person who has an eating disorder and relapses faces the same as a person that lose weight and relapses.

We should take each other problems serious and we should be kind to each other. Otherwise, no improvements can be made on all the sides. Be kind and try nog to judge someone situation. And don’t forget for yourself. Your current situation is not your final destination.

Yours,

Queeny

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Why are you afraid to let calorie counting go?

Aahh calorie counting. I hate it that consumers have access to this :,). Not because I don’t want them to know. It’s good to gain more knowledge as a person with a goal. Makes the opportunity of succeeding higher. But it comes with a price. Let’s say a mental health price. For my own practice, two months tops of Myfitnesspal is enough!! Not a day more and even less is something I advocate. Get some insight in how much rice weighs per portion, how much oil is a good idea and call it a quits!

I work as a coach at a company and clients that mostly come to me either hate calorie counting, don’t do it completely or got a totally fucked up relationship with food eventually. This last thing is something that a lot of people really do not take seriously when they download Myfitnesspal in the beginning. If you feel anxious, because you can’t eat a meal you cannot track. You have a problem!

If you feel anxious, because the battery of your foodscale broke down. You have a problem. As a person who has been there, I am not afraid to say this. And the amount of suffering it gave, is something I would never like to have for others. People trust the food scale more than themselves !?€@#%!?? It is such a hard habit to get out of your system! So better do it now. You are not a bikinifitness model, you are not on prep and you won’t gain all the weight back!!!!

Especially this last one. This is the whole reason why people can’t stop. “Oohh I found a formula to keep myself forever this way”! Well, I can tell you this. It will not be forever. Maybe you have been struggling for years and years with your weight, but this is not the awnser. It’s a tool for insight in calories. Myfitnesspal is just like a diet. It will work for some time, but will lose it charms in the end. Cuz when you stop following it, depending how you react to it, you could gain some weight back. It’s the lie that everyone tells themselves. That calorie counting is not a diet, well guess what, it is!

So if you stop today, maybe stay the same in weight or gain 2-4 pounds (1-2 kilo). Your real lifestyle change can begin. People who use calorie counting often can calorie count when by themselves. But when getting a partner, being with friends or with your own damn kids later on. The craziness of it, will show. Getting to listen to your body, cravings, making healthy choices and sometimes nibble on something less nutritious and staying in balance. Is the key! You already can do that without that app, millions of people show that everyday. And guess what, your weight will always go up and down (2/4 pounds, 1-2kilo) and that is healthy. People think the scale either needs to go down or stay at the same number for all the weeks of the year……

Start with putting the food scale away. Than only use the app for a while. Challenge yourself to eyeball foods and drinks more. Become more easy with tracking (not specific with macro’s). And let it go. To be honest. This has been a thing for me for so long that I actually really am considering to not even start as a dietitian, because this bugs the shit out of me. It really takes away the joy of my work personally. Because I know that at the end, that people who are using this now are gonna give the biggest tantrums on not letting go. While I never even recommended it, but they start looking for information at the wrong sources or twist your advice…

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How your tastebuds changes when you eat low fat?

Low fat foods, high volume foods and low calorie drinks. All of them taste like heaven when you are dieting down or eating way to less! But when you start eating enough again it taste so dirty…How is that possible?

Well your body is smart, let’s start with that. Just like your metabolism adapts to your calorie intake and becomes lower when you eat less. It can becomes a bit faster when you eat more. The same goes for your tastebuds. They adapt to what is given. If you are used to a lot of salt, your tastebuds expect that. The moment you use less salt, they recognize it and than you add a bit more.

However, you can change the preference and adjust your tastebuds. For example, overtime using less salt makes your tastebuds adapt to it. The same goes with liking low calorie foods. If you go from semi fat milk to low fat milk, you can slowely adapt to that. This is kinda chill, when you are cutting down. Because of the calorie deflict you taste everything better, because again your body is adapting to getting less food. So it makes everything taste more intenser.

This however also has a downside. When in a deep cuttingfase or having an eatingdisorder, these low calorie foods mimic the volume for the stomach capacity, but not the macro- en micronutrients. Keep that in account the next time you think low calorie or low fat foods are healthy. They have a place in a diet, but not for all meal moments

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What I ate in the month June

Dear readers,

I have not posted a blog about this for such a long time! So I might as well now. This has been food from the month June. I must say, I see a lot of veggies in these pictures, but I did not ate enough veggies by any means. So don’t let that fool you!

  I loved these cookies when I was a little girl! Nowadays they are not that ‘WOW’.

My friend gave me ”ME” as a cake for my birthday. Iconic print if you ask me.

This cake was done in 3 days with my fam!

Random food, I think it’s tuna.

Salad is my main food, cuz it’s easy and divers!

Random leftovers (chickpeas, tuna and some cucumber and tomatoes)

Alwayssss salad!

Some tea with a good friend and a great egg/salmon BLT (that I forgot to take a picture of) I cooked since ages and made a vegan curry.

Salmon, chickpeas and tomatoes

My doggo’s are living the life with salmon, veggies and pate (real bro meal)

Salmon, potatoes from the air-fryer and leftover chickpeas. As you can see I ate some Salmon this past month. Out with a friend and some appetizers.

This is something that I eat twice a weak for the past year or so. Eggs and whole wheat bread or lit! I am not a fan of boiled eggs, but a sunny-side up is always my jam.

Salad with Turkish cheese!

Cuz I make shitty pictures. :’) But we had some crazy ass good cakes with discount.

Salad for mom and me (always use tuna in oil).

My first time eating pizza without cheese….by accident. We got some free wine as an apology from the waiter. While I am writing this, we just finished one box of mango’s. Really these either are super good or super bad. One of my favorites to eat.

Kumpir, this is a beast of a meal and #TBH I love it. I wish I could finish it, but crazy heavy.

Can wake me up for eggs, always.

After not eating any type of veggies and feeling awful for the pas 3 days, I chose to eat a side salad during lunch. I always feel so low after not eating veggies for a day. So 3 days were too much!

So cute, but my boss always hooks my up with food. Even when I am visiting or sit at the bar. He always makes sure I have some veggies in the meal as a dietitian XD. Thank god I always jump in to help when I am visiting. Otherwise I would feel so guilty.

And last meal, was a meal made of scratch! 2 whole eggs, one egg-white, brown rice and a lot of lettuce mixed with veggies. Keeping the veggie game a bit higher upcoming days.

What’s your favorite dish? Let me know in the comments!

Greetings,

Queeny

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Why your eating disorder is a coping mechanism

Dear readers,

Your eating disorder is a coping mechanism. There I said it and I bet that you may have heard that before. Either in therapy or some other blog you read. It’s a good thing to understand as a person suffering from an eating disorder that this is the case for you. But also for people who are trying to help you (dietitian and general practitioners).

Maybe it’s a good thing to define the word coping first, because we all use it so easy. So in the Cambridge dictionary coping is defined as ‘to deal successfully with a difficult situation‘. There is something damn funny about this definition. Because most people who have healthy coping habits, can successfully deal with difficult situations. But if you choose your self destructing habits, you can often fool yourself that this is the right thing to do.

EVERYONE HAS SELF-DESTRUCTING HABITS!

the thing is, they come in different sizes. But you can choose to use them or to let them be. You do not always need to do what your thoughts tell you to do. For thousands of years eating disorders have been around. Princes Sissi and the Swedish princes Victoria had them and there’s is nothing to be ashamed about. You should however be active in teaching yourself better coping mechanisms. Here’s a list with bad types of coping. The assignment for you is to see which one or ones you use and be creative with replacing them with new coping ways.

For example: I always smoke when I am nervous > coping is smoking > If I am nervous I will do a little sprint of 30 seconds to relive the tension.

Bad coping mechanism:

  • smoking
  • drinking alcohol
  • drinking fizzy drinks
  • chewing gum
  • too much exercise
  • cutting yourself
  • not eating or little eating
  • eating way too much
  • eating lollipops or having toothpicks in your mouth non-stop.

Not everyone with these coping mechanisms have eating disorders. But it all comes down to one thing: FACE WHAT YOU FEEL.

Hope this helps,

Queeny

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Why cheatdays turn into cheatweeks

Dear readers,

‘12.000 calories cheatday’, ‘ 15.000 cheatday ‘, ‘I ate a dozen donuts from Dunkin’ or ‘I ate everything I craved for a day’. For people who do this as a job on YouTube, well okey they make their bucks with this. If it’s a healthy relationship with food….Well it depends how they deal with it the days after and before the cheat-days. How much calories do they eat to compensate this and how much exercise do they do to compensate it. And maybe most important; do they enjoy what they do and can they keep it up or are they crumbling behind the scenes. Eating until your stomach feels painful is not the way to go in my opinion. Keeping track of your calories the days after, because you want them to be as low as possible to stay the same weight is not the way to go in my opinion.

Eating EVERYTHING you want for a day in high quantities is not the way to go in my opinion. Why? Because you are going too extremes and we do not live in a time that extremes are necessary. We don’t live with a shortage of food (at least I am guessing the persons who reads this, if not, my apologies). We don’t need to eat everything we got and as much as possible, because you do not know when your next meal will be.

Often the titles I have written here above and the behavior that comes with are from RESTRICTION. Nobody want’s to hear ‘no you can’t have that’ and it’s even more difficult if it comes from yourself. At some point you will maybe say ‘I just can have a bite’ or ‘ I have been good for the whole week, so Friday is my cheatday’.

There are some people who can handle cheatdays and have a cheatmeal or the same amount of calories they normally have over the day, but choose not so healthy products. But a lot of people have black or white thoughts, making them go crazy when the product that they want so bad is finally there to eat.

After thousands of calories and not having any structure anymore in your eating (happens often). A lot of people deal with an after-blow for 2 days or so after. So maybe it’s not a week, but it definitely  makes an impact

So why do you get a cheatweek or some cheatdays?

  • Restriction. Not eating when you want, how you want and how much you want.
  • Black and white thoughts. An apple is healthy, but eating a donut that taste like apples is a ‘shitty choice’, but my taste buds still want it (you feel torn in two thoughts).

How can you fix it?

  • By eating what you want, how much you want and how you want it.
  • Skip the black and white thoughts. It’s hard, but using less/no restriction can help that process. Food is not only fuel, it also has a mental aspect and taste aspect. You should try to feed that as well in healthy portions. For example take one donut a day as a snack, because it taste good and it reminds you of your youth. Not 12 on one day.

*One thing these cheatday binges are often not necessary for the body of healthy people. If you are underweight, have a low bodyfat or have an eating disorder these ‘binges’ might be very useful and your body is trying to tell you something. Go to your GP for help.

Hope this helps,

Queeny

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What I ate randomly the past two weeks

Dear readers,

Well these past two weeks were actually good, food wise speaking. I really enjoyed the foods I have been eating. I am not a person that really believes that you should eat oats only in the morning or a grilled cheese is only a lunch thing. So I eat the most random things at the most random moments. I try to opt for 200 grams of veggies each day and two pieces of fruit most of the time. It always ends in 3 pieces of fruit and either 300 grams of veggies or 100 grams or sometimes not at all. And to be honest that’s fine. You cannot always get what you want, right?

Next to this I ate some pork meat last week (19-26 april) and damn, not my jam. I was nauseous half of the day. I only eat some chicken sometimes and during my period a bit of red meat, in Dutch (ossenworst) a cured Jewish sausage on some bread. So that said, I think I’will keep eating a bit of meat (two days a week or less) and keep it vegetarian the rest of the week. Enjoy this one!

Simple slice of bread and an egg that looks like a fish if you ask me.

So these donuts were bought for the birthday of Dino (my dog) he got a little part on his birthday (22th of April) and we ate.. yeah the whole damn thing.

I am always team chocolate

I had a ‘whay I eat in a day’ on Instagram. This was rice with tofu and chickpeas. It was a high protein day without meat.

I call these my dietitian fries. low sugar and low fat sauces and fresh fries. It really saves you around 300 calories.

Tosti aka grilled cheese is my jam. Always.

Soaking biological chickpeas.

Some apple.

Some chicken with veggies. This was supper.

Protein shake with banana, almond milk and prozis whey.

Whole wheat egg breakfast wrap.

1/2 chicken burger with ketchup.

Dino’s birthday prayer (It’s a Hindu thing).

Dogfood at our home is almost always fresh meat, greens and rice.

I really craved this. Why on earth are there two in a package….

This has been either my lunch or breakfast. Banana, nuts, greek yoghurt 10% fat, jam and that’s it.

Your hormones (as a female) will be thankful for this or Turkish yoghurt 8%.

Brunch in the morning, cuz I had way too many appointments.

Fatty fish for the healthy fats.

Making a shake again :D.

These were snacks in the afternoon.

My breakfasts the last two weeks. Yes that’s soup.

I am so bad in pastry. And Lazy, so I often buy them. But these were Indonesian pastry with minced cow meat.

Greetings,

Queeny

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Waarom advies van een diëtist niet zo snel wordt aangenomen (must read voor een diëtist)

Beste lezers,

Diëtisten zijn er al een goed aantal jaren om de gezondheid van de bevolking te verbeteren. Wij kunnen steeds beter advies geven door wetenschappelijke onderzoeken, maar ook door meer kennis te verkrijgen. Zo doen we aan master opleidingen, post-HBO’s en proberen we ook kennis uit andere werkvelden ‘te weven’ in het zo best mogelijk kunnen helpen van de klant. Zo wordt je vaak mutlidisciplinaire geholpen als dat nodig is (met een psycholoog en/of fysiotherapeut). Maar geven we ook onze eigen touch eraan (denk aan opdrachten geven aan de klant of mindfulness toepassen).

Waarom nemen klanten dan met moeite het advies van een diëtist aan? Of houden ze het niet lang vol.

Het klinkt een beetje psychologisch, maar het komt omdat je advies vaak nog geen waarde heeft. Waarde kan je vaak toevoegen door redenen te geven. Denk maar aan: ‘Meneer u moet niet roken, want dan kan u kanker krijgen’. Dat is letterlijk maar een laag. Onderbouw je het met ‘Als u kanker krijgt, kan je jouw familie niet meer zien, je kleinkinderen en kan je niet meer elke zondag lekker vissen langs de kant van het Ijsselmeer.’ Dan geef je al veel meer inzicht aan de klant. Hij moet kijken in de toekomst.

Nu is het zo dat je dit vaak niet kan doen als je een klant voor het eerst ontmoet. Zelfs later moet je het gedoseerd vertellen. Het kan namelijk best wel hard aankomen en zelfs een beetje als een aanval. Nu kan ik je zeggen dat ze vaak (niet iedereen), maar veel mensen het antwoord al weten.

Wat nog belangrijk is dan dat jij het waarde geeft als diëtist; is dat de desbetreffende er waarde aan toevoegt. Dus als de man zou stoppen met roken en laten we zeggen dat hij een longcapaciteit meting gehad heeft voor het stoppen. En 3 maanden na het stoppen met roken nog een meting heeft en dit keer is het verbeterd. Dan is dat het waarde toevoegend moment, waardoor hij zijn nieuwe gedrag mogelijk kan volhouden.

Dit kan je natuurlijk ook in perspectief zien bij iemand die wilt afvallen, een te hoog cholesterol heeft en misschien iemand met een eetstoornis. Je moet als klant het een kans geven en het ‘gewoon laten gebeuren’. Dan kan je zien of wat de diëtist adviseert nou echt werkt en als het wel werkt, dan heb je jouw motivatie te pakken (als klant zijnde). Aan de diëtist is het om te zien (en te bedenken) in welke situatie je de klant kan gaan zetten waardoor hij/zij de waarde van je advies kan gaan ontdekken.

Uiteindelijk is dit een onderdeel van nog veel andere punten, waar je als diëtist en klant samen aan moet werken. Maar ‘waarde toevoegen’ is wel iets waar je rekening mee moet houden (in mijn perspectief dan) als klanten weerstand bieden of nog niet de ernst ergens van inzien.

Hopelijk was dit ergens informatief.

Queeny

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If you think therapy will have all the answers…

Hello readers,

Therapy is something a lot of people with an eating disorder either fear, look up to or do not take serious at all. For all of those people this article could be helpful. I have some sentences that I will put into this article from a lady I spoke to on Instagram. That went crazy quick and I am thankful that people read these!

What’s in it for you?

Depending on how you look at it. It either is very helpful or not at all. ‘When I first went to therapy, they (GP and dietitian) told me that talking about it would help and speed up the proces’. Therapy and talking about your thoughts should help and  yes it’s very nerve wrecking to talk about all the dark thoughts going on in your head, but you will feel relieved. It does depends how you ‘walk into therapy’. A lot of women and men with an eating disorder are often dishonest about either their foodintake or on how hard they work on the assignments they get from the therapist.

And I get that. There is so much going on and you know deep down it’s not oke what you are doing to yourself. The funny thing is, saying it out loud is actually the first steps to recovery. The shame you feel from talking about it is recovery. Having insight in these thoughts is recovery.

I always thought and I still believe; that working without judgement with a person suffering from an eating disorder is key. But sometimes it helps to be a bit judgy, because some people do get insight that the behavior is not something you should be proud of or is even harmful.

Your mindset stepping into therapy.

Wauw! The amount of people who walk into therapy not taking it serious or the amount of people who thinks it’s gonna ‘cure’ them is so big. And you know what, both are wrong. I highly advice you to go there with an open mind and blank thoughts.

Does this person really have the answers?

Well no, not one single helper in your journey will have all the answers. They do however have tips & tricks and I highly advice you to listen to them and use them in everyday life. How sooner you say yes to recovery, how sooner this will ends.

Much love,

Queeny

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Why body positivity isn’t always that positive….

Hello readers,

I find it kinda scary to write this. Because such a helpful mindset is going to get some bashing. First is first. Being happy with your body is a good thing and always will be. It’s important to have positive feelings towards your body*.

What I see with a lot of people including myself

I put a little star behind the last sentence, because exactly that shows a problem in my eyes. A lot of people are not connected with their body. It’s like they have their mind and thoughts and the second part is their body. So they are not working with each other, but against each other. For example: ‘I wan’t to be a size (blank) and this stupid body is just heavy and holding me back’.  I had the same, but not size wise. I did everything to get my period back and still I did not get it back. It took 4 years!

Looking back now, I know why. I did everything physically to get it back, but not mentically. It takes these two, to get yourself healthy. And that’s why I find body positivity so good. It learns you to connect the two.

Always being happy with your body…

I think being happy with your body all the time is very unrealistic. For example. Let’s take a pregnant woman. She is happy and proud that she could carry her baby for 9 months. The moment she gave birth and all the months after that are a roller-coaster! She maybe lose hair, have frequent bleedings and maybe she is not that happy with her body doing that. And guess what that’s okey. It could also be with you fitting pants in shop and thinking ‘Aahh why are these pants not looking well on me’. You can have these moments, acknowledge them and move on. Don’t stick with them. I feel that people who want to become body positive, think there’s this rule that you should always be positive. Like ‘unwritten rules’ they make for themselves. This is not your new addiction or coping mechanism. It’s taking the time to get to know yourself, find the positives and hold on to them.

Feeling pressure from the outside world

I am going to give you an example again, but maybe it’s not really the case for you at the moment. What if you had an health influencer. She is totally body positive. Her whole page is about it. This lady is a bit on the heavier side, but for now is healthy. Then there’s a day she heard from her doctor she needs to lose some weight for her blood pressure and eat a bit more healthier. She does, but her followers do not understand. ‘why are you losing weight? I thought you were happy with your body’. It could be the other way around as well. Maybe you have a page as a fitness influencer and you are ripped, but it’s tempering your health. So you need to gain some weight and lose the abs for a while. Choosing to gain weight is the healthy choice at the moment.

They feel pressure from the outside world to look a certain way and be positive about it all the time…

Always choose you and what is best for you. That is being body positive. Having the connection with your body and understanding what it wants. That ‘pressure’ you feel is an assumption you make of people thoughts. And there will always be a group who will try to bring you down, but the group that supports you is always stronger <3

I find it so sad that if people feel that pressure, but understand that you are the most important person in your life.

Certain rules 

Then there is this group of people who make certain rules. about body positivity. You will be only body positive if you do xxx things. Maybe it’s using lotion for your body everyday or working out everyday. Or worse, only yoga is treating your body well… (yickes!).

There are no rules…Period..

If you do something and your body and mind gain strength, happiness or health from it. Go for it!

Much love,

Queeny